Let me try to describe this feeling the best way I can....
I’m literally doing absolutely nothing that would trigger an anxiety/panic attack. Nothing. In fact, I was coloring, one of the things that I enjoy. I was in a good mental headspace, feeling good and ready for bed. Then, like a random wave of sweat covered my body, my heart started to race, and I felt like it was in my throat. My chest feels heavy, I feel like I could throw up, and I just start to feel myself spiraling. I’ve experienced this feeling a lot through my lifetime - and up until recently, I couldn’t put a name to the situation. I didn’t quite understand what was happening to me during that moment. But now, I can understand and identify that it was a panic/anxiety attack. It is the WORST and I fucking HATE IT. One of my majors fears and phobias that I have are of vomiting, and my mind immediately starts panicking with the thought that I would throw up. I try to calm my brain, but my stomach just gets worse and worse and eventually it just feels so unbearable that I don’t know how to react! I’ll start to cry, get in the fetal position and literally have a panic attack. If you’ve never had one, it’s impossible to understand what it is like. Trying to talk to loved ones about it is like speaking to them in a foreign language. One of the coping mechanisms that I use is classical meditation music. Focusing on the changing tones of the music, and types of different sounds, gives my mind something else to focus on, instead of the attack. Then once it’s over, it’s over. Like it never happened. I
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