1st in Events of my Life!!

15.04.2023 11:00(almost)
idk what’s going on in my head
basically I have two best friends one with whom I am having friendship of more than 10 years and one with whom I am having a friendship of more than two years. Both of them are my closest friends , they literally know everything about me. But from last month I am unable to express myself even to them , my mind is filled with lots and lots of things which sometimes causes breakdowns and I can’t explain their reason. Yesterday only I had a really bad mood swing due to which I turned off all my socials and was rude with everyone also with one of them who I think came to check on me. I always wanted a best friend with whom I can share all my feelings and with god’s grace I got two of them but now I can’t tell anything to them too because I feel like I’ll be wasting their time.
I will try to get through this soon I think.