Today is hard... in Today is Hard

The lonely is strong today. I wonder when I’ll feel different. Maybe I did this to myself. Maybe it is me. I wish for nothing more then to feel a percentage of the old me. To be able to look into the mirror and recognize the person looking back at me. Maybe she ll come back. I hope she does. I wish old me knew how powerful she was. How beautiful and strong. Today’s me is small, dull and weak. She crumbles under the slightest pressure and longs to hide in her hole of despair. I don’t think it’s supposed to be like this but I don’t know what direction is up or down these days. I’m just so very tired. I wish it would all just stop. I tell people I’m numb to it all but that’s not the truth. The truth is that it kills me a little each time. Like a chisel shipping away at a block of stone. I lose a piece of myself with every blow of the hammer and now I feel like I’ve lost all the best parts of me.