There are some things which I will answer but will remain private…
So in my other post gratefulness, my friend and I have been each other’s crutches so to speak. As children sometimes will help and carry a friend, we have done for each other. I’m grateful for her insight which is really surprising to me. On a matter of things, ranging from social behavior, relationships and what are bad traits and habits and things which should be trimmed, curbed or eliminated altogether. I remember one day when we used to work together, I said “you started a war’ jokingly about canvassing. I lost miserably to the wager made. We laugh about it now but with no one else have I found a friend such as this.
Well, we were talking and her daughters father showed up and her mother fed him out of pity. I wouldn’t feed him, clothe him or pity him for his actions against her and his own children and wife but that is myself. While we were talking, she expressed that there was still a physical attraction but that was thwarted by the remembering of how they are. She said he was wearing his shorts which she bought for him because she liked the way he looked in them.
I was nothing but surprised to realize women like men in shorts.
I think that I have buried or changed the memories of what my ex liked about me because it hurt. So I cannot say. I do know that I’ve never been a fan of shorts. Never liked them, they were never practical. You can’t work in shorts, you just can’t get dirty. Well, I mean you get more dirty but I was raised to wear jeans and boots. Just how it happened. I will roll up the sleeves on a shot sleeved t-shirt which is uncommon. But shorts, no. I wore them as a kid but that was in childhood.
I suppose that there is something women find attractive about seeing a man’s legs and possible more his thighs in shorts. Similar to a man seeing women in shorts or skirts. I simply had never considered this. I know that I have a certain density regarding women. They’re, if you will. A blind spot to me in some ways. This being one of them.
Recently I found out that women appreciate a grizzled, masculine man who is dirty from work. Last week I was working and being the most slim and tall of my crew, had I been honked at by a car full of pretty women waving. I believe they were joking but you can’t be sure unless you talk. And it’s impossible to talk while they pass you in a car. So with that, I was not dirty, just looked hard and handsome. Long and lean.
While realizing this, that women actually wave and like looking at men, I was talking to my friend about shorts. I realized how, how…clueless I was, or sounded by this simple statement. “I guess legs are part of the body too” as I never thought women noticed them. It wouldn’t surprise me to find that women may find legs which have become dirtied by work and or sweat and grease, oils or whathaveyou, are a turn on.
Completely new to me.
While I had never work shorts in all honesty within the past 10 years, I can’t imagine the perception if I did wear some now. The only issue is I don’t really know what to buy. How can I wear these shorts and hop out of a dusty, muddy pickup truck with my work jackets and cooler, in a pair of shorts and tennis shoes? I won’t wear tennis shoes either. I wear boots. Not sneakers. But apparently this look, style, outfit, is attractive to women. Maybe it is because, in the words of my friend “you spend too much time at work with men” that I am oblivious of this.
My barber who is also a woman, I was shocked and surprised when I felt her hands more on my ears and neck when I had my hair cut last. I will say that normally a hair cut doesn’t have touching other than the hair, but this time I felt her hands much more. Don’t know why. But I was shocked to realize(as I have all but forgotten) how soft women’s hands are. How soft, how warm and gentle they are. While talking with my friend, they found it was hilarious I was shook by the softness of a woman.
The only time I have encounters with hands is at work with men. So naturally this would be a different experience. As I said, I think subconsciously I have buried or covered up the emotions I used to know I felt, when I was with my ex. This includes the rememberance of physical touch. I guess now, it hurt me so much that I didn’t want to have any memory. And that’s apparent. My sense of touch then was delicate I suppose, I worked in offices then. I did not have the physical strength I have now. So, here is another example. I noticed the other evening that I have another layer of muscle on my wrists which I did not have before. I can grab things which are very hot to touch without feeling or being hurt by the temperature because my work with thermoplastic. My sense of touch is accustomed to hard, jagged or sharp and hot items. That’s how I live. But the contact, innocent contact I have to clarify, of soft hands is foreign to me. It feels so strange. I can’t deny though it sent a shiver down me spine.
I then concluded that I have spent so much time burying my memories and senses which I had experienced from my ex, I had spent so much time away from women, it’s a whole new experience again. I realized the other day, actually this morning, that I cannot blame other women for my ex’s behavior. Other women are not my ex girlfriend. That is not right to place the pain she caused me on someone, another woman who may not have those same feelings. Because I felt that way, I think I’m finally ready to step out there.
It amuses me though, which I have to be careful not to sink into my introversion and live out ideas rather than reality, that compared to these males out there who have jumped to one girl or woman, to the next, I will be more of a cowboy after a long trail, than these guys. I think these guys, young guys take women for granted but not me. A woman is…man. Incredible. Women are amazing. I think because I am, well 30, but have stayed away from women for so long that it’s a breath of fresh air. This isn’t an excuse to run through women. No sir. It’s been suggested but I disagree.
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