Maybe I suffer from depression, I dunno. Are lingering thoughts about death make one more likely to have depression? I’m not interested in killing myself, because I do really enjoy life. I think I would even go as far to say that I love life (nature, books) but I feel that there is something missing from me. Some deeper hole in the back of my spirit that can’t be filled in life, only in death. The last few weeks in particular I can’t shake the thought of death out of my psyche.
Religion has always been a mixed bag in my life. Never considered myself an atheist, but never was a devotee to any particular religion. I suppose this would make me an Agnostic Theist? but even being labeled as an Agnostic bothers me, it’s not giving me that peace that I crave.
Maybe I’ll write something later more in-depth about my views. I apologize that this entry comes off sloppy, I’ve only had 7 hours of sleep the last two nights and I have been drinking.
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