I never gave life much thought in what happiness or fulfillment was. It all seems pointless. Working, chasing endless goals. Even traveling and going to see new places. It just seems so freaking trivial now. My fiancee got her transplant and they warned us it would be hard. But I don’t think I was prepared.
This reality is breaking my heart. I am having a crushing pain in my heart and I don’t understand why I feel like this. Like I’m drowning and being pushed up against the rocks and crushed.
The Drs are saying everything is going good and she’s looking good. But I am so scared they are lying. I have been so used to everyone lying to me and I find it hard to believe anyone. I hope she is. I really need her to be okay, I feel like nothing will ever be better..
I’m looking forward to the day that I am just too tired and finally admit that I can’t do this anymore.
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