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Stay or Go in life

  • July 1, 2025, 2:27 a.m.
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I have lived my entire life in the mid-west. Two years ago I moved to the east coast area. I really like it out here, and I like my job- two big reasons to stay. But I am terribly lonely and rent is ridiculous. Solutions- Get a better job, move to a cheaper place or find a roommate, and make friends. Problems with those solutions. My current job is half the reason to stay. I’ve tried to make friends, no luck. I am 45 so getting a roommate feels like a huge step back for me. A cheaper apartment is next to impossible. I’d be lucky to find something even a couple hundred cheaper. (you might say that every little bit helps but I have moved quite a bit in my adult life so if I am going to have to pack up all my shit and haul it somewhere new, I’d rather save 4, 5, or even 600 by moving home than save just a couple hundred and putting forth all that effort just to move down the street.) I can afford to work where I work and live where I live. but I would have to live pretty simply. Surrounded by so many things to do and see, but no one to enjoy them with, and very little money to spend on doing anything that costs anything. I can and have done things by myself. Played that game for a long time. To me the world is richer sharing it with someone.
Now, If I go back home I have the potential to cut my rent in half. I have friends. I have family. The area is familiar. But if I go back home I kinda feel like I will have failed somehow. And there isn’t the same job variety. Would more than likely have to settle for a job I’m ok with rather than a job I really like. And the mid-west isn’t exactly known for being a hub of activity and entertainment. So, I would have the friends and family that I don’t have back east. Not to mention substantially more money in my pocket. But more than likely a more mundane job and considerably fewer things to experience, although, nowhere near devoid of activities. But, I can’t deny I would miss the mountains- seeing those views every day.

So, Stay or Go?

The saddest thing of all is that my heart will break just a little regardless.


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