So I haven’t felt too good this week to the point I went for a coronavirus test. Thoroughly unpleasant. Going through the NHS ‘walk through’ test centre was like being led by the death squads. Members of the death squad were surly bastards that didn’t seem to understand that if you are trying to talk through a mask and behind plexiglass you will not be understood that well - due to the muffling effect of said mediums. There is no point being a surly bastard because you are not being understood! Get a fucking microphone and speaker to make it easier genius.
Whilst I was awaiting my coronavirus test results (which were negative after an agonising over 48 hours wait) Wifey did another kind of test that came out positive.
Now I always pictured that when this moment would happen it would be a big deal. Like I’d be either jumping for joy, crying like some over grown emo, that basically this was like some massive life moment. And it is but.
It’s not that we were planning or that we were not planning either. Just kind of decided it’s not too bad a thing if it were to happen and also because I am now 40.
Well congratulations I am not shooting blanks!
I have taken the news well. I didn’t tear my hair out like Homer Simpson does every time he found out he was becoming a dad again. It feels pretty normal. Like a natural progression. (I bet I am going rue the moment I came out with this shit later when I have hardly slept and I’m having to deal with 6 inch poos)
This is all the shit I was hoping to get done before becoming a Baby Farver:
- I wanted to wait for this coronavirus pandemic to have died down (eh life goes on).
- I wanted to pass my driving test (now I am pressurised into doing a 1 week intensive).
- I wanted to get an album recorded in the studio (I have long since given up dreams of making the big time as a musician, I just wanted to have something recorded that would be my legacy ).
- I wanted to go places and get wasted while it was just ‘us two’ (not made it to Thailand, Nepal, Murica, Canada, or even Europe thanks to fucking coronavirus!!!!).
- I wanted to change career and actually be doing something that uses my brain (economic down turn like no other possibly coming now).
I am nervous but excited. I keep telling myself that I won’t stop being me and I won’t stop doing the things that make me: ME.
Parents and Siblings know. We will get to the 12 week milestone at Christmas and then we shall announce it to the world.
Guess what guys, my sperm is working!!!
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