Weight in My life

Being fat is discussing. I hate the way I look. I hate how much fat I carry on my body. I hate how my friends act shocked when I tell them how much I weigh as if that’s so much and I know there right. for the average female of my hight your supposed to weight anywhere from 110-140 pounds and when I step on the scale the number is 160 and it breaks my heart. and I try and try to lose weight but I’m just so weak it’s like I have no will power and I hate myself even more. for that my body is a vessel of deep self hatred my shoulders are to wide along with my rib cage my arms have lose skin from the weight I have already lost and my my thighs and stomachs are huge. when I sit down and look down I feel so disgusting as I see my large thighs. and my face my fucking face I hate how round it is and my chin has fat and when I look in the mirror I just want to cry i have fat in all the wrong places my ass is flat and my boobs are ugly if I where just skinny I know my problems my worry’s would go away I know I would have more friends I would be more social and nobody wants me NOBODY WANTS ME is so lonely I barely have any friends and I hate everything about my self I just lay here feeling sorry for my self knowing I’ll starve my self but it will mean nothing as I’ll just stuff my face later and I’m just in this never ending cycle of loneliness and disappointment