I feel like it's time for me to officially say something here even though I know I've already been kind of strongly hinting at it already.
My decision to identify strictly as male in our commitment ceremony was the result of something I'd been feeling for a long time. When I first realized I am trans, I took a lot of comfort in the genderqueer identity. I saw that I had a male and a female side and I wanted to really be seen as androgynous. But over the years I have started to feel more and more masculine.
When I talked to my wife about pronouns and I expressed an interest in being called "they," she responded by saying she would rather call me "he." A while back, that would have offended me. I didn't want to be seen as male and didn't want to be referred to as masculine. But her desire to identify me as male didn't bother me at all. When she started thinking of me as her husband, I liked that.
I was already really getting comfortable with the idea of being male when I started taking hormones, and that just really sped up the process for me. As I have developed facial hair and a deeper voice, it really feel right. I knew that it would be confusing for people that have known me as genderqueer for so long to see me self-identifying as male at the ceremony, but no one even questioned it. That was another thing that made me realize it was right.
For the past month or so I have only identified as male. I no longer feel that I am genderqueer. I am transmale.
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