Where do I go from here? in Daily Thoughts

I’ve noticed I’m becoming more recluse. I have an emotionally and cognitively grueling job, but there is no other field I’d like to work in. After long days, I take care of my aging parents. I am very grateful I was able to move in with them after my fiancé passed away. My father and I have a tumultuous relationship. I want to love him. He can be sweet and kind at times. But he is also racist and misogynistic. My mom is completely emotionally reliant on me. Her only other friend passed away. I am so emotionally and cognitively exhausted. I don’t want to do anything with anyone anymore. I’m so tired. I just want to sleep and get a break. My parents are also very old-fashioned. I am not allowed to wear skirts above the knee, else I am called a whore by my father. Mind you, I’m 39 years old. I am their only child. There is no other family near. I don’t want to be ungrateful for all they have done for me. I would not feel right just leaving and putting everything on my mom. To me, that would not be right. How do I begin to fix this, heal, and get some sort of enjoyment out of life?