Looks like absolute boredom has got to me. Maybe tracking and writing random shit here will make me feel good, idk doesn’t hurt to try. Barely got some sleep last night (edging to porn really is a mistake i don’t seem to understand, more on that later) and missed my gym this morning (big mistake), hoping to catch some sleep and go in the evening (went but too crowded, had to return almost immediately because my forgetful ass forgot that i had a call scheduled at 5:30pm). Not going to the gym in morning really ruined and set the tone of the day as being a lazy fuck and not getting shit done. You need top lvl focus in the morning? hit the gym dummy
I mean like honestly, i know porn is bad, i know browsing shit on the web aimlessly is bad but boy is my mind properly addicted to the dopamine hit i get from these. Started my gre wordlist prac but voila, a 5 min masturbation break turned into a 25 min-“perfect video” search and then the usual reddit browsing (man f reddit, i open it to browse only r/formula1,r/soccer and r/tennis, but my no-self-control hands just keep going on r/popular and then BAM! another hour wasted. Hoping to properly drop reddit and porn and vent as much as i want here, at least it will be cathartic of sorts.
Mate it is becoming a boring life, not that i dont have stuff to do but because i am being a lazy f. Not cool, absolutely not cool.Really dont want to waste the second attempt too but man i have work pending to cover up, hoping that i pull it off man. Have projects and paper looming on the mind, also internship applications are in a month, god damn f, really crunch time. But looks like i can rant and talk to you in private in the meantime, so hoping that i drop the bad habits and do some self introspection while talking to you.
Adios, will catch up to you tomorrow (the pending work is really pissing me off !!!!!!!!!!!!)
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