Exhausted in Thoughts of a Lonely Girl

I’m literally exhausted.. Not in the form of constantly being on the go.. Just exhausted. Emotionally.. Mentally.. In no manner am I suicidal.. But shit.. this life does not agree with me.. no matter what i do or don’t do.. it’s like its a constant battle.. I know i’m depressed… and I’ve always managed getting out of it before.. So why is it so hard now? It feels so much like self pity that it makes me so angry at myself. But I know that is not the case.. entirely. I made my bed, now I lie in it.. Yano..? Just wish I was more equipped to make better decisions.. ugh!! I’m such a people pleaser it’s nauseating.. WHY do I put people before me.. the very people who have never put me in any line… I was doing so well.. I did so good.. Got myself somewhere I was proud.. and BOOM! Fucked it up! Now I can’t get out.. Scared? Maybe? having to do it all over again.. ugh.. exhausting…