His birthday in Him

It’s his birthday… and I can’t even talk to him. It’s been 2 years and I still pine for him. He was my everything and for some reason continues to be. Maybe I just feel lonely? I know he’s happy and I would never do anything to ruin that. I just wish we hadn’t left things in an awkward place. When he started dating his girl, he was acting weird, he would block me, unblock me, and repeat. I completely understand keeping a distance with me cause of our history but it was a repeated thing. And of course, I’m nosy, so every now and then I check his socials… weird, I know. I’m not blocked anymore so yay? Even though I can’t see or talk to him, I wish him a beautiful day.