Rice and Chicken Soup in Numb

TW
After talking to someone for four months and constantly being too busy to make any solid plans you would think anyone who wasn’t serious about you would leave. So trust came easier than it should have when I was invited over for a home cooked meal on a day that had finally freed up for me. He was charming and fit and seemed kind, his apartment was gorgeous and well organized. When he had offered to cook for me my mind immediately went to something simple but also tasty, like pasta, salad, sandwich, mac and cheese, tacos, something easy but that also takes a little time to prepare. That was apparently a ridiculous thought because instead I was fed undercooked rice and cold progresso chicken soup. This confused me because if I were to invite someone over for dinner after refusing to go out to eat somewhere I would make the effort to actually cook something decent. I attempted to move on from this, give him a second chance because of how long I had been talking to him. We ate and it was gross but the conversation was ok; until it turned to his age and how much younger I was than him. I was under the impression he was not as old as he was telling me he was and red flags started popping out everywhere. How was I supposed to get out of this situation, I was alone in this guys apartment, he wasn’t that much older than me and we were both adults, but he kept making joking comments about how I was a child and he seemed like a pedophile. I played this off as his bad sense of humor and just tried to get the rest of the date over with. I was starting to dissociate at this point and the night just started to fade into one long drawn out moment. We sat on his couch and turned on a show, I told him I needed to leave before 10:00 because I had plans with my friends that I needed to get to by 11:00. He just waved it off and told me of course that would be fine. Ten minutes into the show we were watching he started running his hands absentmindedly all over my legs. I’m not usually a huge physical touch person so when he hands started to reach up towards my chest I laughed a little and asked him to stop. He did for a moment before starting again this time a little more aggressive. He tried tickling me, which made me immediately tense up (who the actual fuck thinks thats attractive or normal). I told him to stop more assertively and sat up trying to put some distance between us, he said he was only joking and I didn’t want to make a scene. He was really physically fit and I am very much not and I knew I wouldn’t win if he wanted something I didn’t. The show was almost over and it was nearing when I was supposed to go. He kept asking me if I kissed a guy on the first date, I brushed it off and tried to focus more on the show. I would like to mention that I have never even kissed anyone before and with how this guy had been acting did not want it to be him. As the show came to an end I got up to go, before I could actually get my footing he put his hands on my hips and pulled me back down to the couch. I was stuck between two massive arms, he smiled at me gently and slowly leaned me back so that I was under him. I tried to move again and tell him that I needed to go but he kept asking for five more minutes or ten more minutes. I kept shaking my head, but he was on top of me, what could I do? He leaned down and started kissing me, it was awful, I can still taste him, bad rice and cold soup. I didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t get out, he kept kissing me, so I bit him. Not super hard, but enough to get him to pull back a little and look at me funny. That was my exit, I quickly got up and played it off like I didn’t realize the time and desperately needed to go before I was late. This pissed him off and he kept saying how what I was doing wasn’t “cool” I had already gotten my shoes on and walked around the couch to get my bag when he pulled me back onto the couch, asking for more time, running his hands all over me. I thought I was going to be sick. I told him no again and pushed more forcefully off of the couch. I made it to the door only to have his arms snake around me and turn me into him. His face was so close, his breath was so hot and his arms were wrapped so tight around me it hurt to breathe. I was shaking, I couldn’t help it, I was completely helpless and I just told myself that if he wanted to he could take whatever he wanted from me and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. I raised a very shaking hand to his face and as quietly as possible, trying not to cry asked him to please let me leave. He squeezed me tighter and looked mad, but I think he finally saw how scared I was because he let me go really fast and kinda shoved me towards the door. I left as fast as I could, I don’t remember getting to my car, I don’t remember getting back home. I just remember the bad rice and chicken soup and my roommate holding me while I cried.