my innerchild thoughts in my life

As I grow older I look back to my childhood and realise that it wasn’t normal for a 7 year old to be looking after her younger sisters alone while her mother was out partying. It wasn’t normal for 7 year old me to look after my 1 year old and 4 year old sisters while there was no electricity and we only had a half filled box of cereal that we had to ration for 3 days. It took me ages to realises the stuff I had to do in my childhood were not normal but to me it was the norm and I thought everyone my age did it. I had to step up as a mum when our own was way depressed and addicted. I never got to have a normal childhood. I missed a whole years worth of education because of my mum it was important education too. No child should have to be the parent. I was there witnessing my mums lows and her highs too. However as I got older she was going deeper and deeper into depression. I remember one year my 8th birthday it was a bleak day it was raining my own mum had basically forgotten my birthday, no birthday cake, no happy birthday , no presents it was a real life example of pathetic fallacy. My 8 year old self couldn’t fathom why my mum was acting like it was a normal day when it was her eldest daughters birthday. Then just around 2 months later it was my younger sisters birthday , she turned 5 and my mum got her presents , gifts , cakes , happy birthday. This was devasting to m e because I had gotten nothing like nothing at all. I remember her promising to get me a gift for my birthday and she never did. To my 8 year old self it was like a confirmation that my mum didn’t care about me or love me enough to celebrate my birthday. I cried that day even though it was supposed to be a great day the sun shining and it was my sisters birthday. Even till this day it steal brings a tear to my eye because it wasn’t fair at all to me. I had to step up even though I should’ve been enjoying my childhood.