The turbulence is kicking in. The trepid scripts are fencing my mind and I am writing this today in order to not let myself go. I am more than a human active in school. There are things I know about myself no one else understands.
My family has to reach their rock bottom in order to afford my education. The common assumption in school is that I am well off. It isn’t so. My father has to give most of his salary in debt repayment. And my mother, who wasn’t part of his immaturity and mistakes, has to give almost ninety percent of her salary for which she works so hard, putting aside her dreams of being an all time artist. I am sorry I cost so much but more than that, I really need to prove myself worthy of it all.
My classmates don’t share my dreams. It isn’t to receive a badge and be proud of it forever. It is to be okay in the life ahead, it is to win the struggle of survival before hand and then keep fighting for my aims. I lie in physics and mathematics and I cannot let other people take that away from me. Therefore love, next day when someone says that they did all the work, don’t mind. Stay quiet and smile. When someone shouts at you maybe for a genuine or for a not so genuine mistake, don’t let it judge you. Stay quiet and smile. Don’t miss classes because someone else asked you to do so. At the end of the year, if you find someone more capable of the badge, just pass it on in your true sense of conviction. And no regrets should change you for the bad. Stay quiet and when anything happens to which the natural reflex is to be upset, smile. Just one more year of high school, look at the other side and fight to make it better. That is what matters. The exit, make that worthy to live for.
Be quiet. Don’t lose yourself. You may not know yourself but you do know how you want to be. This isn’t that. Forgiving and indifferent to irrelevance. Remember and persevere.
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