I'm tired of being disappointed with myself, I thought today. But why am I disappointed with myself? I (finally) finished school, I(finally) got rid of G. And then I looked in the mirror and remembered the disappointment. So, I felt bad for a second, and then I reasoned that I was home today with a sick boy, but that didn't have to stop me from taking a walk.
I know I feel better when I move. I also know that I'm lazy. As the dog and I crested the hill and I took in the sweeping valley that I had missed, I reminded myself that I do have a stubborn streak. It was pure stubbornness that got me through 3 years of classes. I have to stop thinking of the big picture, the overall, and sometimes start focusing on one thing at a time.
My poor old dog will be 7 in about a month, and while he enjoys the first part of the walk, the last part is always difficult for him. So, though I could have gone further, we turned around at the nursery. It was a nice walk, and one that I have already decided I will do first thing in the morning.
While walking I thought about how much more money I need a month. If I could increase my income by $600 a month then maybe I'd stop feeling like a disappointment in my financial life as well. Really I'm just about $300 a month behind, but in 5 short months I'm going to have to start paying back student loans. Yikes. I suppose I should add to my list of things to do: check out student loan forgiveness. I also should open up the budget spreadsheet again and see if there is anywhere to trim the fat.
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