Suddenly I don't know what to do. I don't know what sort of job I ever thought I could get, and I don't know how to apartment hunt, and I'm already getting frustrated because I've tried to contact different apartment complexes but I don't know how any of this works ! I'm just so scared that I am going to get the shittiest apartment on the planet and hate every single day I'm there and know that I'm wasting thousands of dollars on it.
Real life problems, right ? I've been spoiled my entire life.
Beth (Amanda's old roommate and friend) said she knows a former guidance counselor from UC who now owns a restaurant in Cinci and is looking for part time wait staff (I used to say I'd never work with food, but that was 10 years ago). I don't want to let an opportunity go but I was honest with Beth and said I would only commute from Dayton to Cinci for the right job and that if she still needs people in August, I'll be available. But I remember that I never thought it was worth commuting from Burke to Tysons Corner for a 4-hour shift when I was at 7 For All Mankind making the amount of money I was, especially since I was always stuck in traffic (12 miles almost always equaled 45-75 mins even out of rush hour).
I know sometimes we have to suck up and deal, but I just don't want to get in a situation where I'm using gasoline for a job that I'm not making enough to cover the gas to get me there. I'm looking at possibly having to pay 6 months' rent upfront to actually get an apartment (and/or have dad cosign out of state), and that can be anywhere from $3,000-3,800 and I need to not spend money so that I still have enough left over after getting the apartment for incidental expenses other than gas and groceries and some utilities and internet and (maybe) cable that I'm not considering right now.
Is it still exciting being in a new area and "on my own" and knowing that in something like 10 weeks I'll finally be living with Cori and get to experience all the happiness and annoyance and pleasure and pain and contentment and frustration that comes with that situation ? Yes. Am I scared ? Yes. This is the first time in my life I've done something like this, and I'm doing it all at once. Moving out of the parents' house, moving to a new city, having to find an apartment and a job, and also moving in with my boyfriend of nearly 14 months (and friend for 7 years).
Also, been walking Catie's 2 little dogs, Maddie and Midge. I take back everything I ever said about Evie being horrible to walk. These dogs are like 10 pounds each and pull like pit bulls. I've had two different people ask "Who's walking who ?" and it's SO EMBARRASSING (I just admit they're not my dogs). I think I need to walk them separately. Maddie is a little more subdued (yet still pulls) but Midge is just GO GO GO GO GO. Also I probably need to calm them down more before actually going out--they get so freaking excited that they carry that stimulation over into the walk and it sets the tone. I can usually get them relatively manageable about 5-10 minutes into the walk but they still pull, especially Midge.
They're really sweet dogs, very loving, but also bark at every damn thing that walks by when they're in the house, especially the mail-person (no street-side mailboxes here, they're boxes by doors and porches in this neighborhood). I try to shut that behavior down ASAP but Catie obviously works 3P-11P 4-5 days a week so it's not consistent and hasn't been (and it's not Catie's fault). I also try not to let them go out doors before I do, and I make them calm down and sit down before I give them a treat after letting them out potty (I didn't really give Evie that many treats but these girls get treats every time they come in... whatever, not my dogs). But it's been okay.
Anyway... mom had a manipulative surgery on her knee today (because she was just not progressing like she should have after her replacement in November, and her doctor was all "wait-and-see" even 6 months later... so she went to a different doctor). Apparently it's a mostly outpatient procedure but they're keeping her overnight. Not sure what that means. Hopefully it doesn't make things worse... months ago, she wanted to get her other knee replaced 6-8 months after the first one, but obviously since she's still having so many problems with her replaced knee, she may not have the second one done for 3-6 months yet. I feel bad I'm not there, but... I had to do this for me. I had to or I would have just been miserable in a way that I can't fathom anymore. Even if I'm stressed trying to find an apartment and job and moving, it's nothing like how I was feeling the last couple years in DC.
~Rachel
P.S. I posted this on FB but I want to post it here now... Cori and I on his graduation day in Minneapolis almost a month ago (also he's super tall and I'm short anyway, so I was standing on a ledge and don't let that fool you, he's seriously a good almost foot-and-a-half taller than I am LOL) :
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