i feel like it was too easy. just a phone call to a random person who happened to be working that night, a car ride, and two shots. i made an irreversible decision about a life that relied solely on me. i’m 36. i’m not old enough to have the final say — in anything. not adult enough. like someone “above” me needed to be asked beforehand.
but it was me. it was my responsibility because it was me that chose you at the very beginning.
i don’t know what i plan on doing with this “journal”. i used to write everything just to get it out. but that was decades ago, and i don’t think it ever worked…it never made me feel any lighter. so here i am again. hoping that putting it out there will help. but there is a small part of me that doesn’t want to let it go, because what if it lets go part of you along with it?
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