A little shy of two years after graduation I finally have a full-time job. It is retail, but there are benefits, and it is still within the book industry. I have made some friends there who I've hung out with numerous times, which means that I am no longer sitting in my house alone with the cats all the time.
In three weeks, I will be moving into my mother's basement because even though I work full-time I still do not make enough to survive. Seriously it's not even an issue of food or rent, even if I didn't buy food (we're talking raman noodles are out of budget range) I cannot afford rent. I'm really not sure how I feel about this. On one hand it will be nice to live with other people because I think I spend too much time alone, and the idea of a roommate horrifies me not because I'd have a roommate, but because I cannot imagine ever being able to share a living environment with anyone, ever. This fear of having to share space has also kept me single because I'm terrified of having a relationship get to the point where we move in together. So, this is probably going to be a good thing.
I'm still not dating anyone. I mean, there have been dates, but no one that I've been interested in, see above. I have signed up for a few dating sites, including two for British men who like American women. I'm not sure if that is crazy or not. I have emailed with a few different guys but it all just seems to taper off. Nothing special. There was one guy that I i got a long with well and thought I could like quite a bit but when he started to get really intense really fast, then spent a lot of time passionately complaining about his mothers hearing-loss after I told him about mine, I cut it off. I don't know. I guess I feel that if I meet someone long distance and start something that way, that when it evolves I will be more comfortable with it. I have to be friends first. I'm demi-sexual, which means that I have to have a very stable emotional relationship before I can become even remotely interested in anything more, literally have to, otherwise there is no *chemistry *. There has only been one time in my life that I was interested in someone who wasn't a friend; this tends to make on-line dating very difficult for obvious reasons. Honestly, it bothers me a lot that men no longer feel that they need to slowly work up to a relationship any more; that physical contact (kissing/sex) is part of the getting to know you phase and is assumed to be something that women are just going to be okay with. Really, whatever happened to taking it slow?
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