These were the last few days with that one person who happens instead of just staying. I am now free of the bondage. I am making this one final promise about her to myself that I won’t return. She has every reason to hate me and she can do all she wants with her new clients. People love staying in pretense and she loves validation. Deal sorted. I won’t return and try to save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.
She thinks she can block my head with her threats to kill herself. The reality is that she never will. I am tired too. I am tired of her. I am not going back. I can’t escape from the dark in here but all I can do is open some windows and move towards what I really want.
That side of 2022 is the destination but the path is giving all I have in me for it. Not being able to regret in hindsight that I didn’t give my cent percent. I have words to prove. I have failure with me, it is my friend who is going to stay with me when no one will, balance my ego and I will live with it. There’s no going back and no running towards. There’s gentle dealing with all of my focus to this one thing I want. I know what I want. I will prove all words about their futility. I am not a mechanical lover who can be wired to function and not function according to someone’s temperament. I have to do what I want. I want. I’ll be the potential and I have to stay to watch it. I know I can. I can. I can.
I can and I will.
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