it would be nice in feb 2022

if i didn’t overthink and get anxious about every. single. thing. in my life. why do i poison my brain with unnecessary thoughts and feelings?? no wonder i have like no friends. i cut everyone off cuz im scared they don’t actually wanna be my friend, i rarely take classes on campus bc meeting new people absolutely terrifies me and even the online friends i have don’t know the absolute level of social anxiety that i have. i feel like bc im 20 now, it’s no longer “teenage angst”. i have a real problem. i can’t go one day without me having some sort of meltdown about smth. im scared to go to therapy tho because that would confirm everything that’s wrong with me. plus, i don’t want the attention on me anyway. but i would love if i could just go outside more and not worry about other people and just be me. but the anxiety is holding me back and i hate feeling like this. i hate myself, truly. whywbywywywbdc