I am feeling really weary these days. Mornings are the worst, but they have always been. That’s alright. But I don’t know when I started feeling weary all day. It may be the weather that’s dragging me down, it’s been so gray and rainy the last few weeks. It certainly hasn’t helped my mood. But it’s probably just one factor of many.
Yesterday wasn’t so bad but yesterday the weather was alright and work was, too. Works alright right now, too, objectively at least. No deadlines stressing, my boss leaves me alone. And yet I feel like I’ve got a ton of rocks in my shoulders. I feel like I do when there actually IS a deadline AND my boss breathing down my neck. Don’t know why though.
I hate work lately. Of course I wonder, if a employer or job change would make a difference. And that’s the problem - I wonder. I don’t KNOW. I just don’t know anything: what I want, what I don’t want, what I like, don’t like, hate, don’t hate. I am blank inside. It’s so tiring not knowing what is or is not. I wish I could make up my mind but about what? I DON’T KNOW!
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