am i even real? in For You by Tv Girl

I don’t know if you ever think that, but I do. I ask myself that almost every day. I just feel so out of place so much that i wonder if maybe i am just from a whole different world entirely, like i was dropped off on a foreign planet all alone. I wonder what others truly think of me, if i’m annoying or needy or boring or too much or too little for them. If i’m ever enough in their eyes, or if i’m way too much of something else for them. it keeps me awake at night. and now recently i experience emotions like i’m in The Wizard of Oz or something. sometimes my world and my feelings are so saturated in emotion it gets exhausting to go outside and feel everything all at once. But sometimes i feel so empty and in black-and-white that all i want to do is do something that makes me feel real and human again. I do stuff to make me feel something, whether that be bad or terrible. I just want to feel awake and in control of my life, rather than feeling like someone else is in control of my body.