Up earlier taking advantage of Colton being out of school. While he got ready, I saddled the horses and loaded them in the trailer stopped by the café and ate breakfast. On the way he talked about how his mom loved checking cows. She did love riding. I ask him how he slept, Doctor had given me something to help him sleep, but he took one and said they made him feel off and, in a fog, the next day. So, I haven’t been giving anymore to him. Out of the blue Colton said I still dream about mom and the wreck, but I think it’s ok it helps me remember her voice. That boy will find the bright side of anything. I’m still not sure what to say back when he talks about the accident, I just listen and hope that’s enough. On the way to the pasture the song that was on the radio when the accident happen played, he got so pale and just turned it off. I ask him about it, he said. I see and feel everything it hurts all over I mean I feel it, mom grabbing my leg and pulling me down and me landing on the floor board my boot coming off Mom saying get out just do. What I said, mom yelling Colton you don’t need to wear your boot any more get out now, the cup hitting me in the eye, it made my eyes water and hurt so bad I couldn’t see and felt like I was passing out, the car exploding that lady screaming and then just no sound mom wouldn’t talk to me the guy in the truck just laid there and nobody came. It was so cold and. Never mind, I just hate that song. That was the most he has said, I didn’t realize he heard the lady in the car, scream he is either remembering more are just telling more. He laid back in the seat and went to sleep. When he woke up, he was fine. I think he uses sleep as a defense if that is possible. I wonder what else he hasn’t said. I guess this is why I started writing on here to document what he says, but so far haven’t done much writing about what and what I see him going through, and how I handle it, but haven’t done much of that either, I guess I thought not sure what I thought.
Well, one thing about that kid we spend 6 hours horseback and when we got back home firsts words was can, I go finish discing. Colton is not lazy of course, when I said OK, it was can Carey come. He has four favorite things roping, horses, tractors and Carey and that order seems to be changing with age
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