Seeking outside in Documenting daily life of an absolute loner

You know what I’ve realized: The fundamental problem with life is that nothing lasts. When you seek outside, the happiness you crave, through people or things, it is bound to end at some moment and you are back to square one, miserable and alone. YOU CAN’T RELY ON ANYONE OR ANYTHING! Only few are so lucky. The rest of us has to find another way. What if I could find something right here that never comes and goes? Something that I could depend on regardless of the thick or thin? It has been the holy grail of my mission in life. I know it sounds overly cheesy, idealistic and perhaps naïve too, but anything less just doesn’t cut it anymore. I am at that point in life where the usual highs no longer attract me. They feel like third-hand remnants of everlasting true happiness.