Sitting here high af just kicking back and trying to control the chaos that is my life right now. That tenuous grasp like “I should be the most sober at all times to be ready for the curve balls of life” then thinking “hmm I should be intoxicated, that’s a great idea.”
The effects of age are the most interesting when I’m high. After not being high for so long it comes on in crashing waves of mixed Anxiety like “this reality is going to fall apart at any second now” and soothing calmness between thoughts and effects.
This TSM didn’t come back in crashing waves like I might have expected though. Something that came to mind while watching a bass learning video and feeling like I’m listening to that one guy from IT Crowd. The one with the fro. Yea that guy. Like that’s where I know that voice from.
Then in a bought of mad distraction I notice I have a queue (what a weird fucking word) of messages (see advertisements from the ‘site owner’ – what a world) that apparently there’s a practice log! (legit excited)
It’s almost a craving for order through discipline is the way to go to get this all back on track. But it’s not off track, it’s just… on the track. Like Just-Just-On-The-Tracks. Like someone’s gonna figure out I’m a fake and call me out on my shit.
“Am I Really a Good Person”
Title of my first book.
I remember when I used to write these. It was often with the on going inspiration of everyone around me on the chat room (BH) It wasn’t just me writing back then, it was an amalgamation of some of the most hilarious and unforgiving minds.
Grandpa’s gonna go off, anyone under… 30 just ignore most of the rest of this. It’s only going to date me and embarrass me (Seriously that’s how it’s spelled?! You’re shitting me.)
It wouldn’t be right if I didn’t start this in the most cliche of ways.
“Back In my Day!”
Follow up book to the Oprah Club favourite “Am I really a good person”
Boom.
Anyway. Back in my day… the fuck was I going to say again… Oh right, back in the early days of the internet and before the ‘snowflake’ (See Empathetic like what a concept). Movement really kicked in and before League of Legends (is this song still fucking going… Jesus) there was a little place called BH. It was the wild west of the internet and the shit said on chat rooms, if that shit was screen-shot today and sold to a media syndicate there’d be a whole ‘nother Larry King special on it. Jesus is Larry King the most relevant talk show host I can think of. Out-of-Date
Expired.
Is this a midlife crisis?
The Corvette comes next right?
rocks back in forth in the corner *
I’d pull my hair out but that shit is worth gold right now.
Am I have a midlife crisis surrounded by my fucking hair line?! Is that what it all boils down to?
“What pushed him over the edge Jim?”
“I don’t know Frank, just all these pages with Crayon on them”
The camera pans along the lines of Franks gesticulation to a paper covered walls, written on them in red crayon ‘What happens when I go Bald’
Fade to Black -
Now accepting job offers Marvel.
Okay a couple of things are bothering me. I’m using this Open-source Word-esk program. Word Proccessing Program. Do people still call them “Word Processing” or does “the Man” just have so much of a hold on us now that it’s not “tissues” every thing is just Kleenex. Like… Imagine talking about your fridge and saying “Yea just grab a beer out of the Samsung”
It’s fucking ridiculous when you think about it.
I remember Thumb Drumming being a thing when I used to write and I’ve got some banging hip-hop on right now that’s just selling the vibe to me and I can’t get enough of it. The rhythm (or lack there of) of Thumb Drumming reminds me of writing. I just wanna rock out a bit and ride the… gentle rhythm of a wave rolling up on a beach at sunset.
Take me there where the sky is gorgeous and warm and welcoming. Cooling sand under bare feet like you just want to let it go on forever. A Moment. In the palm of your hand.
Take me back to those easier years where my biggest worry was how I was going to deal with the next Drama to come along, or drama I was going to cause.
I think about it a lot. There was a time where I was a little shit head and goodness knows I’ve had my fair share of Kharma coming to collect but at some point people started to say “I didn’t have much hope for you but you turned out alright” like it’s some sort of compliment but for real I also don’t blame them. I was a dirt bag.
Do you ever think about that moment. People perceive you one way for a long time and at some point you 180’d on that perception like a lay up to a board breaking slam dunk like “Yea you fucking thought! Didn’t ya”
Which brings me back to my annoyances with my Word-Esk processing program. (It all comes back around eventually) But it’s got really stupid… ‘Easy’ functions like “Hey if you put an asterisk on either end of something it must mean you want it bold. No, I do not. I have Keyboard-Shortcuts for that. So then you use something other than asterisk to make a point or convey on action… like Dashes, but no… Dashes mean that you must want to Strike Through.
Like No. If the program were a person I’d shake them by their shirt collar and semi aggressively half worried “what’s wrong with you!?”
Do you think aggression has a semi? Okay hold on not what I meant. And now everything that comes to mind is a bad phallic joke.
““It’s on or it’s off”
Am I right or what?
Gently sings “Inapproooopriate” in an awkward fashion *
It took my far to long to figure that Awkward was spelled Awkward and not Awkawrd. Just kit hitting A and W
(This Monologue open for sponsorship from A&W)
But not actually. Their burgers are so fucking dryyyyy
Best taste, worst Execution. Unlike Burger King’s Fries.
Just sayin’
(The Anger I feel posting this and reviewing it before posting and noticing that the site changes my Asterisk (Not Asterix like previously believed. Mind Blown) to some other… wingding?, my rage is subsided by that ridiculous word).
And always remember: Be employee you want to work with, be the husband you want to marry, be the parent you wish you had. Rise to your highest standard.
Can you fucking believe I didn’t just post this entry as an entry I posted it as the description in a fucking book. Nailed it.
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