Sometime I feel like there are two separate people living in my head, similar enough that I recognize them as "me," but with different aspirations, different styles, even different tastes and conflicting beliefs.
Take my faith, for example. I've believed in the tenets of Wicca for over 15 years, but I don't practice, and I don't seek out other of the same faith. I don't, because in some ways I'm still very much a traditionalist. I believe in monogamy, not using mind altering substances (legal or not), and personal/civic responsibility. Those aren't qualities I find often in the pagan community, though I'm sure they are there. I don't like needing to explain myself to people.
And my career ambitions....good grief I'm all over the map. I want to go back to retail, I want my own business. But, oh! Maybe I want to write a novel, or own a craft business. And lets not forget blogging, because I want to be a blogger! I can never decide, and that really holds me back from true success. I'm chasing two (or more!) rabbits at a time, and catching none.
How am I 30, and I don't know who I am? Or what I want to be? I'm tired of just falling onto a path to see where it leads. I want to choose my path, instead of having it chosen by circumstances. sigh
Along those lines, my job interview process is going well. I think I'm getting close to the end. I have an in person interview with an HR recruiter on Tuesday, June 2nd, then an interview with a store manager immediately after if it goes well. It's a good thing; I like the work and the salary is 50% more than what I was making previously, so it will benefit my family and help my business grow as well. The wait is a strain, though.
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