There has been a lot of change in our world. I made a new friend at work who turns out to be a secret heiress working a (relatively) low wage government job so no one knows about her millions. She hangs out with C and I all the time, as she is also a secret lesbian. She’s pretty cute and initially made C jealous. Then she seemed to develop a “friend crush” on C and that made me a little jealous. Fortunately, on either side, we understand the value of a good friend, and as we get to know her better, we realize that 1) money doesn’t make someone a good partner (duh), and 2) having millions doesn’t do one much good if you won’t spend it or use it to have a better life or create a better world, or something.
C, herself, seems to be having a mid-life crisis. She wanted to quit her (very high) paying job and be a do gooder. I was supportive; my job pays well and is pretty stable. But as we planned it, she could not seem to move on from her issues with her current job and what they need to do to make her current assignment work, etc. etc. And she seemed to be having separation anxiety (prospective) for her colleagues. She’s been with her company 17 years!
And then I began to notice stuff in my work world that troubled me. I was passed over (not even interviewed) for the top lawyer job. Which is basically a message that I won’t move up in that agency, not any higher than I am (which is high up but still). And yes, I could stick it out and collect the retirement check but that’s giving them another 8-9 years of my professionally taken. And openings are starting to get filled with political appointments, not people who have been there building the organization, so talent is leaving in droves (a collective “fuck this” from the more liberal members, due to the political appointees being on the right hand side of the political spectrum). And my boss retired, leaving me as the foremost authority on a subject area, but without a boss with any clue of what I do. I have received stellar reviews, but I worry that will change if my boss (the identify of whom I don’t even know) can’t understand how awesome I am.
And then, this. I visited another city in the Pacific Northwest for a conference and really loved it. The cool, the green, the hippies everywhere, the respect for my marriage, even the people I met from my industry.
And then this. C’s job sold a big sale in the Pacific Northwest and needs to staff up in the very same town I went to. And is currently deciding whether to relocate us there.
I could be leaving my agency and moving with my wife within a few months. The idea, and the planning, has brought us closer together. We are making very long range plans together with an understanding that we won’t break up. Of course, one never knows, but I really don’t think we will.
We seem to have broken whatever was keeping me from being open about my feelings - when I explained that I worried about my job due to anti-gay animus and the growing (probably temporary but long enough to affect the rest of my career) power of those who would not consider promoting a lesbian, the upcoming administration changes, and my dismay at realizing I’d hit a glass ceiling, she got on board for using her job (and thus, not quitting) to help get us in a better environment.
I’m really psyched! It’s far away from her family but she says she is okay with that. And I have relatives in the area (cool ones, a cuz my age), and she has close work friends, and I have one friend in the comparable agency to mine who is, like, second in command, and waiting for my resume once the relo is a go.
It might not happen, but it feels real right now. And I feel a little guilty bailing on my agency, but seriously, the powers that be could have given me a courtesy interview if they wanted me to feel like I’m valued. It’s bad enough that they refuse to recognize my marriage. We can always come back if we really wanted to. But I’m ready to build a life, with my wife, in a new and beautiful place.
Loading comments...