I really am terrible at this, I need to get better and I need to practice. Currently really struggling with jobseeking. When I was made redundant I was given a really good payout and I thought I would have enough time to casually enjoy life and look for work. But then the pandemic hit, I really did make it difficult I am really struggling. There are jobs going and I have been applying for them but when it tells you that you are one of 300 applicants, it doesn’t leave you with much hope. Granted there are less applicants now by jobseeking but still I get jobs with 100 people apply. So I thought I’d apply for an ABN, just so I could do food delivery like DoorDash or Uber eats. Not really but prefer employment but at least that might give me time to listen to some podcasts and make a little bit of money. The companies that made me redundant, Is advertising for a new employees need to find work I really dreading the idea would go back to that place. So I am in a position where I am feeling conflicted about earning money and supporting my family or just avoiding go back to that hellhole.
Jobseeker requirements tell me that I have to except the first offer that is given to me which might be that I am go back to this place and I really do not want to do that. I love my life now, but I don’t feel like I am contribute to get after this household. Really this idea that you need to be earning money to consider yourself contributing is part of the patriarchy and while I know that it is not necessary to have the body I still struggle with it mentally. This is eternal struggle for me at the moment and I know I need to start making money and hopefully I will be able to do that but I am dreading give up the leisure and the life I have at the moment.
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