NoJoMonkayink in Hot town, summery in the city - 2017

Monkayink was youngest’s name for Monsters Inc when she was little. She absolutely loved that film (although we always had to start watching it from when Boo appeared).

7. What was a moment that made you feel an unexpected emotion? (Can be happy, sad, angry, etc.)

I think my emotions must be a bit trad, a bit run of the mill. There’s no rebelliousness in my emotions like there is in the rest of my brain (did I tell you I’ve had another section of hair shaved..?)!

Unexpected emotions… thinking, thinking, thinking…

I remember being incredibly angry at the people obliviously Christmas shopping in York 21 years ago but then my mum had just died so, ya know, expected!

Five minutes has passed since the last paragraph as my brain creaks around the dusty corridors of the past….

My emotions are so normal that even the perfectly timed crescendos in the music in Disney films can set the flood gates pouring even when I’ve thought most of the film was pap 🤣🤣

And each time I think, “Oh! There was that time..!” I realise it was a thought process, not an emotion.

I suppose…, not such an unexpected emotion as the direction it was aimed… when I was a TA (teaching assistant) I hated having to uphold arbitrary rules. To be fair, as a parent I think it’s ridiculous that my child has to remove her second earrings every day because how the hell do they affect her learning?!? But yes, as a TA. Having to ask kids to behave in a certain way that I knew went totally against the way kids learn. So when you had a child that you constantly had to ask to sit still I wasn’t frustrated at the child but at the school system for putting that child in a situation that created a difficult learning environment. I remember working with one kid (who has since been diagnosed with ADHD) who had been kicked out of class again. I went to where he was and I was supposed to be supervising his work but he became focused on wanting to prop open the very heavy door. I figured this was a perfect learning opportunity and, while it may not be the french he was supposed to be doing, it was a fabulous science opportunity.

He chose bigger and bigger items, trying to prop it open, but nothing worked because it was such a heavy door. He then realised there was a gap beneath it so he tried to wedge things in. But the door kept sliding closed. Until he got a deflated rubber ball. He wedged the ball in and it stayed open. I remember he turned to me, partially triumphant and partially bemused. I got him to stroke the surface of the ball to see how it felt and he discovered that it wasn’t smooth, like it looked, but his fingers juddered over it and his eyes shone full of the excitement that usually preceded an act of ‘defiance’ as he realised it worked because of friction. That was the longest I ever saw him focus on a single task.

I wonder if, one day, I’ll gaze at the effing fungusified toe nail and weep with happiness…