Rescue Me in General

Our story’s old, older than the wind
It’s been decided for years
How can we pretend
That we all know just how it’s gonna end
Rescue me in the middle of the ocean
Crashing down, it’s always hard to breathe
Some say, it’s easier to give up on it
I say, it’s time to rescue me
-Daughtry, Rescue Me

Early morning for a Saturday. I was up and out the door by 0600. Three trips to dump the remainder of me tomato garden. The problem with that Fusion is it barely has a trunk. Dump runs that would take one trip in the F-150 take forever. And I am unwilling to use the back seat for carrying dirty stuff.

Coastal Maine was WOXOF, and the mosquitos were out in force. After rinsing out my garden buckets and stacking them I realized I had an hour before I had to shower up for breakfast.

So I dug into the next storage bin. All flying stuff. Low level overview charts, low level charts. I marveled at the stunning lack of technology we used in the early 90s.

Everything was hand made and hand calculated.

The charts all have divert vectors to the nearest airfield, hand drawn. Shaded areas showing areas of substantial crop-dusting.

Lessons learned – a tactical jet doing 420 kias or 540mph at 250-500 feet hitting an crop-duster. The crew of the jet might survive, but that crop-duster pilot is dead on impact.

Farms to avoid, towers, vertical foresting (yeah, Weyerhaeuser cuts down trees then airlifts them out with helicopters.)

The EA-18G guys probably take a memory stick out to the jet – that’s assuming they aren’t networked somehow, so their flight plans, obstacles etc. just dumped straight into the jet.

Digging through the bin I found what had to be my last “To-Do” list before we shut down the watch in 1999 on the USS Constellation. Somewhere between Australia and Hawaii.

Monday, November 22nd, 1999. It said across the top.

Below that “N331 ACWC/EWO”

I was office code N331, The Assistant Command and Warfare Commander and the Flag
Electronic Warfare Officer.

My schedule said “0730: PT.” Obviously not terribly busy.

Under “Things To Do:”
[ ] IDTC Training Plan
[ ] Finish Brief for RADM H.
[ ] List of ORGS for RADM H. to visit.
[ ] RUBICON Messages
[ ] Watch Bill – email to the boys.
[ ] Turnover Binder (AC2WC)
[ ] Lessons Learned Database inputs
[ ] INFOCON Lessons learned (Post Cruise – LT W.)
[ ] Make Dental Cleaning Appt
[ ] Legal Package
[ ] DIMS 23-25 (That would be the Commanders daily intention message, the anchor tied to my ankle every day for six straight months)
[ ] SOE 22NOV-17DEC (That would be “today” 22NOV, also my sons 12th birthday – until 17DEC99 – the day the USS Constellation was scheduled to arrive in San Diego)
Across the bottom was my quote of the day “The Truth is Silly Putty – Paul Krassner”
Below that was “86.34%”

In six months I had worked out 86% of the days.

It is pretty obvious I was a serious young man twenty years ago. But the entire staff had a dark, almost morbid sense of humor. We knew it was serious business, and a minute’s inattention could cost lives. Our shop motto was “Semper Gumby.”

I don’t take anything nearly that seriously anymore.

Getting the runaround while trying to buy this place.

I’m going to suggest a new tagline for the VA: “The VA – making shit unnecessarily difficult since 1865.”