my parents didnt really raise me they just spoiled me and i know how that sounds but trust me it wasnt good
its like they knew i hated them from the very start, like i knew we would never see eye to eye, that they were never going to TRULY love me. spoiler alert, i was right.
when i was young my dad would spoil me with lots of things like flowers, ipods, games, toys whatever it was. he used that to show me his love because he would then take me home after getting me these lovely gifts and then beat the shit out of my mom and brother in front of my face and of course i was next.
i remember being terrified walking home from elementary school because i never knew how drunk he was going to be, how mad or needy.
an ocd, depressed, alcoholic, rapist, abusive father was not the best role model, but of course when i was too young to see those things, i was daddys little girl. i was always with him and blah blah blah
now i think about shitting on his doorstep for his new wife and kids to find. fucker. i hate him
anyways, i didnt have a role model. until tammy. and that is a very long story for another time but basically she died of cancer in 2018?? 2019?? idk its been so long and im so fucked to even remember
but yes. tammy died and she was my mom. she taught me wrong from right and what family was. she did that. she gave me what i needed from a parent and my mom will NEVER be okay with that, probably because she knows she fucked up
TAMMY. i miss her. i just miss her and i could really use a mom right now to just cry to because i dont have anyone to fall back on if everything fails for me.. i know my brother would try but theres only so myuch he would be able to do.. its a mothers job to look after their child and well. karens not going to do it and tammys dead so . nice
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