I’m glad today is about to end, yet it worries me. As the night darkens and the hours go by, I am relieved that the new day is so palpably near. Yet, a horrid fear grips my heart, a new day? How can that be? I have unfinished business from today. So, I cannot close my eyes once more. And I stare aimlessly at everything.
And in my empty hearts are only pangs now. Sharp, keen pangs. What should I make of them? I am too old to nurse my wounds as I did once, but then pain demands to be felt. I say to myself-over and over again- “I am master of myself. I am master of my heart. I am master of my emotions” but it does not help. I am instead overwhelmed and ashamed. and unheard. oh, how I wish to be heard!
But who do I speak to? Who has the time? And if someone did, dare I bare my heart to someone? Dare I hold it out for someone to see,knowing full well what I rotten spoilt I heart to show?
No I dare not. I dare not.
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