Giving Up in Struggling as a Parent

My daughter (8) is a challenge. Recent diagnosises for issues we’ve dealt with for years. Medication has been prescribed, but there’s no change. There was, but there isn’t anymore. Perhaps an increased dosage is required, but man, it’s a struggle right now and I hate that medication was necessary at all, let alone already needing an increase when it’s been less than 6months.
Anyways it feels like nothing works for us. Her relationship with everyone is basically diminished to a point I’m not sure can be recovered. This includes her relationship with me. As her mother it destroys me to know I can’t show her the love a child deserves. I cry often because I just want to help her but nothing works and the hardest part to admit is that I don’t like her… not even a little bit. She’s mean and hateful. She lashes out at every single thing that isn’t what she wants when she wants. Meltdowns in stores Every. Single. Time. I’ve given pep talks before we leave the house, on the way, and before we enter the store- explaining expected and acceptable behavior for while we are in the store. Even when it’s a quick in and out. Never fails. She’s the child you see being dragged or carried out by an exhausted and defeated mother. When she enters a room, you can feel the tension rise and the mood shift.
She’s been seeing a counselor for a couple years now, no improvements..
Rules and “no” means nothing to her.
Haven’t had a counselor call me back yet for my own coping skills, so here I am. Posting to the internets. If you made it through, thank you for hearing me. I’m struggling so much right now.