Caffeine got asked (kind of out of the blue) to join in on this guy's videography project; apparently he's making an MTV and would like her in it.
She agreed, scheduling to go as Inori from Guilty Crown:
before she realised that she has completely gone off portraying female characters, and, well, her Inori is... excessively... feminine in exactly the way that put her off, in fact, being a woman^.
In fact, she backpedalled so hard she messaged the organisers in the middle of the night saying she might not go at all, because (she said to me) surely the organiser had simply wanted a pretty girl in the video, and the moment she said she wanted to go as a guy, he was going to tell her not to bother.
I pushed and I prodded and I told her that she was either going to go or not go, and if she said she wanted to go as a guy, she might or might not go, and if she said she wasn't going, then she obviously wasn't going to go.
So, I asked, is it that you don't want to go? Or is it that you would rather pre-emptively declare that you won't go, so that you don't run the risk of rejection from someone you don't know?
So she messaged them again and told them straight: She would show up, but only as a guy.
And what a guy:
As I expected, the videographer pretty much went with it, possibly due to the short notice of it causing there to not be much response. He even went with it when I offered to tag along as Dante.
I explained to Caffeine in the middle of the extremely long discussion we had, that there was a reason why I tended to win long sparring matches.
Because, I said, each time I make a move, I open options up for myself, until there is nothing my opponent can do to stop me.
So, as you can see, we made it to the Barrage for the videoshoot. And I am pretty sure I sucked epically, and I have doubled down on my resolution to complete Dante's Force Edge. And I am embarrassed. And I am humbled.
And I have grown. I have new options.
And because I was there, and because I was stuck waiting for a late screening of The Amazing Spiderman 2, which lives up to its name, I discovered a new option:
That when I have a telezoom lens, and there is nothing but open ground and sky around me, I can take photo
after photo
of people being beautiful
^My life is complicated.
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