I've decided I need to go on a GOOD date. I haven't been on a good date in quite some time. I've been on some ALIGHT dates and some creepy dates, but good, not so much.
Let me tell you about the last three dates I've been on.
First dude, I really seemed to click with. I wouldn't call it an extreme connection or anything, and I wasn't naming our children, but it was O.K, His name was Matt. He was around the same age as me. He was attractive. We ended up going to dinner one night. Spent like FIVE hours talking during dinner. They were literally closing the restaurant. We intended to watch a movie after dinner, but spent so much time running our mouths that didn't happen. I had to go out of town the next few days, but he was eager to want to plan the next date with me, so insisted the second I got back we would hang out. He texted and called me constantly after that first date. When I got back in town, he never could seem to get it into his schedule to meet up. Seems odd since he was so eager beaver in the first place. Then we planned to do lunch on Friday. I was going to cook since he was working that day (I was off that day). So, I cooked....all that jazz..and like 20 minutes before he was supposed to be there, I texted him and asked if he needed help with directions or anything like that and told him I finished cooking so whenever he was ready, he could just come on. He texted back that he wasn't going to come and was too busy at work.
I was damn well pissed to be honest and I made that clear. Not because of the fact he wasn't coming but because he was completely disrespectful and didn't bother to even tell me he wasn't coming ahead of time,
I didn't bother attempting to text him anymore after that. He would text me and eventually asked if I was mad at him. I explained how inconsiderate he was. He claimed he felt like an ass, but not before trying to invite himself over at 11 p.m. to my apartment. Are you kidding me? I told him that I wasn't interested in that and if he wanted to see me he was going to have to take me out....on a real date...not in my apartment or his house.
He didn't text or call back. I wasn't shocked. UNTIL three weeks later, he texted and asked how I was doing....and he was curious as to why I wasn't so happy he was texting my phone. For real? Idiot!
Idiot guy was closely followed by creepy-clinger. Creepy clinger was an alright first date too. We ended up going to eat, then shopping, then to a movie, and then to ice cream. The total time we spent together was like 8 hours.
Immediately after that date, he seemed like he morphed into a glue stick and imagined I was paper. He CONSTANTLY texted me...and I mean every three or four minutes from like 6 a.m. until midnight. That's just a bit much. Don't you think? I stopped texting back as much, but figured, maybe the dude just likes to utilize his unlimited texting plan. He might just be feeling excited. I tend to give the benefit of the doubt. He kept asking for a second date, so I ended up meeting him for dinner. It was his idea to go to dinner mind you....
When I got to dinner, I knew it was going to be downhill from there. He immediately began complaining that we couldn't keep going out to dinner and I had to think of other ideas. I reminded him that it was HIS idea to go to dinner in the first place. He had no comment to that. Then he chewed out the waitress because she asked him multiple times what type of quesadilla he wanted and he kept saying, "I don't know. A regular quesadilla." Jesus, idiot. Just read the damn menu.
After that he really had nothing to talk about, so I tried to talk about things I've experience before. He discussed having to go vacation to the Smokey Mountains before. I told him that I've never vacationed in any mountains except in the Alps.
Get this...lmfao....then he says, "Oh how cute. Sweetheart. You don't know what you're talking about."
I was like, "Excuse me?"
He said, "You mean the Appalachians. They aren't called Alps."
I said, "No. I meant the Alps."
He said, "Applalachians. You can't abbreviate them."
I finally tried to explain to the idiot that they were two different mountain chains. FAILED attempt at trying to seem like you are smarter than me, big guy.
It only got worse by that point. He declared....mind you this is the SECOND DATE...that eventually he'd like to move to a new position in his company that would require him to relocate in the U,S, and would I willing to move with him. UM WTF? He also started telling me about how he couldn't wait for his family to meet me whenever he took me to some pre-season football game next week. UM WTFFFFFFF?
I quickly made my exit. He immediately, five minutes later, started texting me incessantly from that point on. I one answered him. After an hour of ok, no, or yes. He asked if I was mad at him, and I just asked for some space. He didn't do that. He just kept on and on even when I didn't reply. He stopped to sleep, but began texting again at 6 a.m. I blocked him. I was going to do the adult thing and tell him things weren't going to work out, but you can't respond to crazy with sane. It doesn't mesh well together.
So, yes, folks, I need a GOOD date with a normal and SANE gentleman. For real.
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