It was a dark and stormy night, I had just clogged a toilet in the JCpenny’s public restroom and behind me was a super long line. I had no choice than to act surprised when I came out and warn the line of people that someone clogged the only working toilet.
It wasn’t my problem that those people were stuck with holding it until they found another restroom, all that mattered to me was that I unloaded that Taco Bell® Chalupa Box I had that afternoon…
I never knew what I did was something I’d regret for the rest of my life…
The next day, I was awoken to a putrid smell. my hands were chained to a toilet similar to the one I clogged the other day, and sitting next to me was a HUMONGOUS pile of human feces. Beside me was a cassette tape; I played it. It said…
“You have 2 hours to flush 200 pounds of shit in that toilet. If you don’t finish in the allotted amount of time, too bad… your room will be flooded with your....own…shit........ timer starts now btw”
Without hesitation, I began scooping the poop with my bare hands, I wasn’t gonna take the risk of dying that day… especially since I had a coupon for one of those FREE Doritos Locos Tacos… There was way too much too risk on the line…
After 30 minutes of scooping what seems to be an endless pile of human excrement, and diarrh- hold on is that corn? Anyways, I began to realize that I was inches deep in doodoo, with only 90 minutes left.....
By the time I had spent 80 of the 90 minutes left scooping the shit, I knew… there was nothing left to be done. Nothing I can do. With my neck deep in waste, I couldn’t help but reflect on what got me in this mess in the first place… it was all because I clogged that toilet. I knew I could have gone back home to shit but no.... I did this to myself.
The room was almost filled.... I accepted my fate. I took one last breath. And my demise was met with a chunky mix of brown shit.
I knew… I’d never get to try the Doritos Locos Tacos from Taco Bell®
Jigsaw once again brought justice that day.. and removed another menace to society from this world.
THIS POST WAS SPONSORED BY TACO BELL®, TACO BELL’S DINING ROOMS ARE OPEN! COME OVER AND DINE-IN AT PARTICIPATING LOCATIONS TODAY.
AND REMEMBER.... TO LIVE MÁS!
Loading comments...