Clean up... in Dreams

I don’t know what we’d been doing, but apparently we were in need of a shower. SB and I walk into this big shower room, her ahead of me, and I lock the door behind us. As I turn around, she’s already hastily getting undressed, where as I’m more hesitant. It doesn’t feel odd. It feels like it’s perfectly acceptable for us to see each other naked, but we’re not dating. At least I didn’t have any sign (foreknowledge, memories, etc) that we were. The shower room was quite large, all white with tile floors, maybe tile up the wall, but I couldn’t see that clearly, and tile around the light switch.

My subconscious got most everything about her right, except one glaring detail. When I last saw her, she had the figure of plywood. That wasn’t the case here. We ended up sharing the shower, and having a generic conversation as we washed up. She slipped twice, and I caught her in my arms, and she’d just give me this grateful but horribly embarrassed smile. Each time I’d kinda hold her for a few seconds to ensure she had her footing again. Not gonna lie, that felt really nice.

At some point, the scene shifted, and while we were still showering, the scene changed to outside. It was some sort of parking area, with a few cars and trucks, as well as some big semi trailers. As we carried on, we just kinda moved from the middle of the parking lot, to between two of the semi trailers. We didn’t walk there, as we were still standing under a showerhead (though I have no idea where it was) cleaning and talking. At that point, she fell again, and I caught her. This time, she didn’t have a look of grateful embarrassment. This time she looked panicked. At that point, I used two fingers on my right hand, to feel her neck for her pulse. At this point, I was also worried. “(SB) your heart is RACING! Just stand here a minute and breathe slow and deep.) She did, and this time my holding her was more like a reciprocated hug. Not romantic, though. I woke up at this point.

I’ve not thought about SB in years. This is also the first time I can recall dreaming of her since we were in school together. So why now? Put the naked showering together aside somewhat, why would I not feel the usual discomfort about getting undressed in front of her, and her in front of me, yet we’re not dating? I don’t care how close of friends I am with a girl, unless we’re actively intimate, I’m not getting undressed with her, much less showering in that close of proximity. And from what I could tell, SB and I were not that kind of friends. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to see her and hear her voice again, but my the file clerk in my head is reaching really far back into a long forgotten file cabinet to show me SB. It’s confusing, but a little funny, if I’m blunt.

EDIT: I’ve had more than enough time to rethink my wording while I was at work, comparing SB to lumber. While I was trying to be as accurately descriptive as possible, as quickly as possible, I’m well aware that comparison was very harsh. SB was very cute, very sweet, very scrawny, and I had the absolute biggest crush on her. I never managed to tell her, and I doubt she ever knew.

Last updated January 19, 2021