~Originally posted at OpenDiary on 7.27.13~
With one hearing aid in the shop I feel like I have my right ear pressed against a wall of silence. This happens every year when the weather turns nice, first hot humid day, right side breaks down. It's also been super annoying at work because people have picked this week to be the week that they get to know me and hold lengthy obnoxiously random conversations. I cannot lip-read cold. I have to have some idea of what's being said so that I can fill in the blanks and no matter how many times I ask them to stand back and speak up they just keep insisting on getting closer so I cannot even see them properly! I just mirror their expressions back at them and nod along. Admit it, we all fake conversations sometimes, even people with normal hearing do it, although I don't think they're as good at it (we are pros)!
For all the obnoxious sometimes soul crushing moments where you feel completely isolated and alone, there are also moments of amusement as we have all experienced. Judging by the look on people's faces this week I'm certain that I have responded very oddly on a few occasions. My personal best (and worst) ever happened when I was working in a coffee shop. One of our regular customers came in and started chatting me up while I made their drink. Of course there was no way I could hear anything over the machine and she looked like she was just talking about the weather, neutral face and some seemingly unimportant words, so I handed the drink off with a big smile and "enjoy!" My co-worker comes up to me and asks why I would ever say something like that. I was totally confused, we say "enjoy" all the time, I explained idle chit-chat and that we end conversations like that all the time.
co-worker; "She told you her mother died!" me: "Oh! Well maybe she should have made a sad face."
I understand how cruel and cold that sounds, but really, who looks like they're discussing weather when they're talking about their loved ones recent death? The story of this spread like wild-fire and soon everybody knew about it, but no one understood how it was a totally reasonable mistake and not me being a horrible person, it made it worse that I found it amusing. I still find it amusing. I think this is one of those moments that only a d/Deaf or HoH person could really understand and laugh at.
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