Flash fiction: Cheat Code in The Irresistible Urge to Write

  • April 11, 2014, 2:57 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

Trigger phrase: Video game physics.

For Jireh, who asked.


I didn't have my pistol. Kit had complained about it, bitterly.

How do you intend to work without it?

If you want me to be fully equipped, don't call for backup ten minutes before you go in.

Kit had snorted.

And you don't carry when you're on patrol?

Don't need it.


Kit had made the call, as I said, ten minutes ago. Sal had looked up the maps and diverted me, and I'd shown up, sans pistol, sans ammunition, sans everything except my car, which wasn't going to fit into the bloodsuckers' living room without some serious effort, and my batons.

"So what are we looking at?"

"Superhuman strength, superhuman speed, some local gravity override, some mild telekinesis of the self."

"Wall crawling?"

"Wall and ceiling running, actually."

"Edward Cullen with videogame physics."

"In essence. Can you handle them?"

"Physics is physics. They can fiddle with it all the want. I'll cut that out from under them.

Kit bared his teeth. "You want to go after the vamps or after their patron?"

"I'll keep the little guys too busy to look after their master. You just make sure you cut their power source."

"Done in ten minutes."

"Five minutes."

"Deal."

I saw his eyes flash in anticipation.

"Five minutes from... mark."

And then he was gone, cutting through the cellar door and heading down into the basement.

I went to the front door, spinning my mental dial up to green. Waited for it to open.

"We're not buying anything." A neophyte; under the glamour of the vampiric matrix I could still smell the rotting flesh of the neophyte's undead body. Good. Not much power there.

I kicked the door back into his face, sweeping up momentum around my leg from the earth below and dumping it into the heavy oak, ripping it from its hinges and sending it and the vampire blasting back into the house into the far wall.

I'm not sure if the neophyte splattered, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't healthy. "That's all right, mate." I flicked my wrists and extended the batons, as ruby eyes flared to life in the darkened house, pinpricks of demonic light seeking me out. "I'm not selling."

I lit the solar nimbus on the batons, drawing the attention of some, igniting terror in others.

Waited for the chaos to spread through the brood, as panic and anger and hatred and hunger roiled through the group mind, as I poured more and more power into the nimbus, until the nearest vamps began to smoulder and flare.

And then I went to work.


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