I’d never given it much thought, but one thing that’s always annoyed me is that when attending weddings, parties, cookouts, etc. I very frequently get seated near or asked to entertain the host’s parents. I can only assume this is because they think I’m less likely to say something offensive than their other heathen friends.
I remember when Spanky got married the first time, his future mother in law approached me at the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding and told me not to let him do anything stupid that night. At 24, I just laughed it off and sputtered out some forgettable, likely nonsensical, response. But thinking about it now, it still really irks me.
I want to be able to let my guard down and have fun like everyone else. I should start charging if that happens again. (Which, I realize now, isn’t likely to happen due to the pandemic and all of us getting older.)
Last night, I dreamed I was out to dinner with a group of friends who are probably closer to acquaintances, really. The married couple among them had both sets of parents with them and I was seated squarely between both pairs. It was taking forever to get our orders placed and the small talk was draining the life from me. I suppose I should say “when there was small talk,” because, really, I was mostly sitting there just watching everyone else. The parents were more inclined to talk to the others they knew better.
When the appetizers finally arrived and it looked like at least another half hour before our entrees, I excused myself to the restroom. What I really did was go straight to the kitchen and slip some money (unheard of for me in real life) to the chef to get my food out there quickly. So, while everyone was sitting around, chatting, my food arrived at the table. In real life, I don’t start eating until the last person has been served. But, in this case, I very subtly started putting food in my mouth. The plan was to eat half of it, then pretend that the rest came when they got theirs, with the end goal of just being able to leave a few minutes before everyone else.
However, when everyone else got their meals, the server brought me dessert. The others didn’t notice, but I still cursed under my breath.
The dream just kinda puttered out from there.
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