Stories I tell about myself with a smile- early childhood in Messed up thing i call my life

I was broken from the start, like you know actually broken; they had to give me a surgery right after I was born. Funny how that turned out to be, but about that- later. So me as a kid, should have been the best time of my life right? Not really, I was unfortunate enough to have an alcoholic father on top of that; he named me after the only women he ever loved, it wasn’t my mother by the way. As per my mother’s stories –he loved my deeply, doesn’t relates to what I remember about that time. I only have a few fading positive memories with my father from my childhood, unfortunately the brightest one is dark (paradox) and it sort of set a course for my future self –destruction. When he got drunk he didn’t really control himself much so this one time he launched me I to the wall. A lot of parents make mistakes along the way and normally a child mind will not even remember it. It happened when I was between 2-3 I think, I was too young to know my age, but mature enough to understand that my father is not supposed to beat me up.
I tell this as a funny story in bars normally, but how I recently discovered, it hurts me deeply, so bad that I burry the feelings about it behind wide smile and drinking, not healthy, I know.