So today I officially "propose" my dissertation. This is sort of funny because I've already completed 75% of the work, but I have to jump through this hoop. Now, for whatever reason I have built this meeting up inside my head to mean a lot. I know that it doesn't, really, but I can't seem to convince myself of that. My stomach is in knots, I'm jumpy and anxious, I hate it.
Part of it, I'm almost 100% sure, is that my boss was an absolute bitch last night when I went to go talk to her. She simultaneously told me that this meeting means nothing and I've wasted time preparing for it and that my committee was basically planning on ripping me a new asshole for not writing up the results already. Why haven't I written them up? Oh, that's right, they're forcing me to publish a review that I think is entirely pointless and do NOT want to finish. So whatever. I just need to remember that I'm going to get the eff out of here soon.
I got an email confirming my interview at Hopkins in a few weeks. And basically told me as long as I'm not a weirdo and get along with the lab I have a job (not in those words, but pretty much). So basically, my boss can bite me.
There. Now I feel better. Time to go rock this.
Did not rock it. Would like to go cry in my bed. Rescheduling in 2 weeks. I also realize that I have not eaten lunch and would like to have a glass of wine and a big pile of cheesy bacon fries.
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