Helpless

My baby sister called me crying HYSTERICALLY Sunday night, after 10pm.
Her fiance is a pretty nasty person to begin with. But he also has learned how to choose words when they fight that just attack her at her core and her heart and it rips me apart.
He tells her she’s an unfit mother, that he’s going to leave, and take their baby, and she’ll never be able to find them.
She’s become convinced that his family will lie for him (likely because he’s told her such) so that he’ll be awarded full custody.

Backstory: My sister suffers from PTSD both from childhood molestation/rape, and from fighting to survive boot camp in the Army, but she’s currently seeking therapy for her issues, but he chooses to use that against her every chance he can get.

My niece is legitimately the happiest baby I have ever seen in my entire life, including my own child. She would not be that way if her mother was unfit.
When I found out that my sister was pregnant, I was genuinely concerned. Not that she would be a bad mother, but I was concerned about her waking up when the baby cried (she’s always slept like a tank), I was concerned with how she’d do on minimal sleep and not being able to stop and take a break every time we need to.
But man, oh, man, has she blown me out of the water!! I am so proud of how much she has grown and what an incredible mother she has become.

I reassured her that night that her family will stand up in court, if needed, and tell the truth and that we’ll be there with her and for her every step of the way, if that’s the direction that this goes. But aside from being there for her, there’s not much else I can do. And one of my most hated feelings is feeling like I’m helpless.

I just hate that knowing she’s in this internal turmoil and not being able to do anything. I know full well that nobody can tell someone else that it’s time to end their relationship. She needs to make that decision on her own and my interjecting opinions on the matter will only serve to make her feel more alienated from me, and that doesn’t help her, either.

Breaking Out of Quarantine

I am so ready for this to be over. I miss so many little things.

Our favorite bar has done take-out service for the duration of this quarantine and the owner has started a “neighbors feeding neighbors” charity/reach-out for people in our community who need help and he’s been giving away food donations or lunches and just doing AMAZING things for the people around us who are in need right now.

They just started doing take-out, but you order inside (or over the phone) and then they bring your food out to tables (spaced 6’ apart) in their parking lot.

So that’s what Kim and I did tonight. We ordered food, I had a drink, she had 3, lol (I was driving and I work 3rd shift, so I can’t go getting drunk at 7pm) and we just sat outside (it was beyond gorgeous today) and talked about any and everything. It wasn’t fully the same, but man, was it as close to a “normal” evening as I’ve had during all this mess and it was so very nice to feel normal for a change.

I’ve gotten judgement in the past because Kim and Lex and I tend to go to the bar every other weekend (when I don’t have my kiddo). But it’s not about going to the bar and getting sloppy drunk, or bringing home randos, or anything like that… It’s about the human connection. It’s about catching up with my friends, and it’s about not having responsibilities for even just one night.

Neighbor Mess

As an update to my entry (two entries ago, I believe)… I chose to not press charges.
I’m choosing to believe that he just had a bad day and didn’t handle his emotions well. Am I excusing his behavior? No, not at all.
But I am choosing to recognize that it could have been worse. He didn’t pick up a knife or a gun, we weren’t physically harmed.

The officer stopped by my apartment on Saturday at like 9pm, and asked what I wanted to do and I told her. She asked if we’d had any contact, and I said “no”, because we hadn’t.
She then asked if I was sure which of the two residents threw the water. And I don’t… It all happened so very quickly and I didn’t see their face. And afterwards, when Alicia was screaming through the door, I couldn’t discern the voice, either.
So the officer said they can’t press charges until they know for sure which one it was, so we’re at a standstill because they won’t answer the door and David won’t answer or return her phone calls.

Alicia is seething mad because he won’t be punished.
I just don’t have room in my heart for all that negativity.

It’s the Little Things

On this day, four years ago (okay, yesterday, four years ago, since it’s after midnight now), Evie took her very first independent steps.

Today, my baby niece took her very first independent steps!!

It brought so much joy to my heart to learn that tonight.

And we’ll end this on a good note…