Hanging in there in 2020

Doing a decent job of social distancing, if I do say so myself. The kids have adapted to doing school online pretty well, though they’re irritated that I made them read for an hour a day on top of whatever their schoolwork is and I’ve given them extra chores, because the house might as well be somewhat clean. I’ve gotten a few small assignments from work, mostly professional development webinars plus planning in the hopes that we will be able to reopen hopefully by May at the latest - but yesterday and today they had us all making calls to small business license holders making sure they know where to find resources if they’re interested in Small Business Assistance. I hate cold calls of any kind, so that was a special kind of hell, but fortunately most people didn’t answer their phones so I was primarily leaving voicemail messages.

Rob’s company had a big meeting on Friday, they are expecting to lose a ton of money this spring so there will be no pay increases or new hires - but fortunately they aren’t planning any layoffs. I’m not worried about his job, he’s fairly essential, but he would feel awful if he had to lay off any of his staff.

My anxiety has been off the charts. I know we’re going to be okay, and I honestly feel a little guilty about that because I know so many people are going to be struggling in the very near future. We have friends in the service industries, and it’s fucking scary right now.

I’m also frustrated at the lack of available testing for this fucking virus. I feel like if you aren’t a celebrity, a politician, or a sports figure, you can’t get a test unless you can prove you’ve been to Italy or China recently. How do we know the numbers of positives are anywhere close to realistic without widespread testing?

Thank goodness for Xanax and day drinking. I really should do something more productive, but right now I’m just trying not to freak out all the damn time.