My area remains in middlin’ degrees of lockdown, although as I’ve said before, it hasn’t affected our day-to-day lives very much. My family (both those who live with me and those who don’t) remain healthy, thankfully. They announced yesterday that public schools would be closed for the remainder of the school year, so we’re looking into ways to keep our kid, y’know, educated for the next 3 months.
I had my first counseling appointment in awhile earlier this week. I don’t often have major insights in our sessions, but at their worst they force me to do some introspection and just kind of take stock more generally. I’d noticed (and mentioned in recent entries) how much calmer and less-stressed I’ve been feeling lately, but hadn’t put that much thought into why. I’m thinking a big part is simply not having to do things at a specific time. For someone with ADHD, adhering to a schedule is super difficult, and it just plain takes more energy. But now I’m finding I have the mental reserves to do a lot more with myself.
It’s part of a broader theme I’ve been thinking on lately, which is how to stop fighting my own wiring and instead just make my environment more accommodating to me. As the saying goes, you gotta dance with who brung ya. An example is drawing, which is something I’ve wanted to get back into for years but has instead been a source of frustration. I’ve tried working with a tutor, watching tutorials, etc., but didn’t feel like I was making much progress, while practicing remained hard. But when I tried just doing my own thing and hoping what I’d learned would show up, things went a lot better. I’m still nowhere near where I want to be, of course, but practicing feels much more doable and far less frustrating.
More generally, I’m trying to figure out how the things I’m learning about what makes me happy can be applied to my life once everything returns to normal. This is somewhat more daunting, but it looks like for better or worse I have a fair amount of time.
In the meantime, both Animal Crossing and Doom Eternal are fantastic.
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