Today my emotions are at an all time high. All my senses feel heightened. I have received exciting news. After nine long dreadful months of probation I got let off three months early for good behavior. Now I am finally able to leave the state. I have been waiting for this entirely to long. The moment has finally arrived, yet I feel afraid, happy, excited, and fearful all at once.
I have been living back at home with my mother, and sister for about two months, only have been moved out of her house once before for six months. During those six months of not living with my family I came to realize how much each one of them ment to me. Regarding everything I have gone through and concurred my family have always been the ones to remain by my side. They will always come before anyone else.
I have been given an opportunity to move across country which means leaving my family behind. I only have been waiting to be discharged from probation. Basically I have had this plan for the whole two months I have been back living with my family. The friend I will be moving in with does not have the cleanest history with pleasing my mother. The whole two months I was nervous to let her in on my secrete agenda. I even made up a little white lie explaining to her I was going to Wyoming to take on a job at Yellowstone National Park. However if you actually knew me than you would come to find I hate lying. I may be good at it, but eventually I feel guilt which tears me up inside.
With the rush of excitement I felt today I also started to feel the guilt crawl up. I ended up telling my mom about my feature journey. To my surprise she was extremely excepting. I would go as far as to say she was even excited for me. Now I only have until the first weekend in April to say goodbye to people that mean the most to me. This by far is going to be one of the hardest things I've had to do. I understand I always have the opportunity to venture back this way for a visit, but that idea still does not give me peace of mind. This is going to be a life changing experience, and I wont be able to share it with my family. Compared to seeing them every day of the week to not seeing them for months is going to be a difficult transition.
Getting discharged from probation only seemed like a dream two months ago. Now the time has finally come. I am very thrilled I no longer have to carry any burden of probation or a lie on my shoulders anymore.This is going to be more difficult than I initially expected, yet I am over the moon happy that my mother approves of this journey. I need to spread my wings and learn to fly. The nest ( my mothers house) is not the right place for me. My soul craves adventure.
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