V-Day in Don't be asking

I guess rather than sharing this in my own words, here’s the text messages between me and my husband today. When I leave a space, it’s because a decent amount of time passed between messages.

Me: Do we have any plans for Valentine’s Day?
Him: Not yet. I don’t think so.
Me: How would you feel about me spending it with another man?
Him: That would be taking it to the next level.
Me: In a good way? Or a bad way?
Him: Definitely good.
Me: I’m so happy you feel that way.

Him: I think if you do this, you should do it right and spend the whole night with him.
Me: Funny, I was thinking the same thing.
Him: It’s supposed to be a romantic night and it will be less romantic if you leave and go home to your husband.
Me: Exactly!

Me: By the way, you’re forbidden from doing anything on Valentine’s Day. You’re just going to be home alone.
Him: I expected as much.

Me: Turns out it’s not easy to get reservations anywhere this close to the day. I think you should do some searching for me and let me know what you find.
Him: You’re just looking at restaurants?
Me: Yeah, but nice places of course.
Him: Since it’s a Friday night, what about something like a bed and breakfast?
Me: That’s a really hot idea. Yeah, look into that.

Him: [sends me a link]
Me: That place looks really great! They have availability?
Him: Well, since it’s Valentine’s Day they are only taking minimum two nights.
Me: That doesn’t sound like a bad thing.
Him: haha
Me: $258 was the price for one night? Or two?
Him: Just one.
Me: Ouch, that will be expensive for two nights.
Him: Can I pay for it? My Valentine’s Day gift?
Me: Yes! your gift to me is paying for a romantic weekend with another man. I love it.